it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
