i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
