Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
