I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
