i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
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as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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