I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
