Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
