Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
