I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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