he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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