I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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