remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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