if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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