No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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