i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
