He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
