I faked an abortion last night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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