ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
