You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
