We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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