Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
