When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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