I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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