FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize