Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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