So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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