At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
