Swine flu. Run for my life!
nutella sex= disaster
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize