I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Help. Why am I so naked?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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