Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
