Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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