Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
