I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
