they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
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We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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