I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
