would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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