i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
