Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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