I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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