No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
