had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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