I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
