i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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