we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize