college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
