I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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