Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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