gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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