i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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