I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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