He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no, he came in my armpit
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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