How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think i have two assholes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
