I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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