he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
