so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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