I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize