if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
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Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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