hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
