Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
