Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
