So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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