He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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